Sunday, 26 October 2008

Just some thoughts

An other day has passed and a long day it was with an extra hour added to it!!. I wish my kids had a build in clock that would automatically be set on winter time!! I could have had my extra hour sleep then :(

I was thinking just now how odd it is that you start caring much more for other people when you are confronted with ilnesses yourself. Before Dounya's birth I didn't know much (zero) about Congenital heart diseases and now I found that there are so many!!! I have heard of heart murmurs and a 'hole ' in the heart but did not know exactly what it meant. Through Heartline I have learned so much..not only about the different conditions but also about courage and support.
Living here means that we have not a real support network around us. Jamal has one brother living here and we have some friends but everybody got enough things on their own plate. And I don't want to feel like I am a burden to someone. So mostly Jamal and me depend on each other.

Because I am the sort of person who wants to talk about her feelings and Jamal is more closed I am happy that I have found different ways to express my thoughts and fears. So I am 'blogging' away and nearly every evening checking heartline.
That's my way of coming to terms with Dounya's condition.

It is a long road ahead of us, and a rocky one but I hope Dounya will come through all of it fine.
Luckily she is not aware of the things that are waiting for her in the future..

When she gives me her ' 1 million smile' and she looks at me so trustfull it breaks my heart that she will to go through something major as a surgery when she still is so small..but hopefully it will go the way it should and she comes out as a healthy little girl...time will tell.

She is fast asleep now with a smile on her face...she must be having a beautiful dream!!!

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