Dounya: me and my girl

Friday 30 January 2009

me and my girl

It is amazing how Dounya looks like me ...if I would put a picture of me and Dounya you would not know who is who I think. Unfortunately all my baby photos are still in Holland with my dad but I will ask him to send me some so I can show you in time what I mean. Friends who knew me when i was little noticed this too. She is the darkest of the bunch and has my dark nearly black eyes. And after all we have been through together I feel like we have an unbreakable bond.But it's strange how things have turned around so much....no more worries, hospital visits/stays, no problems with feeding and weight gaining.We finally have gone back to the normal family routine!! I am feeling so energetic now that I am planning to start a study again soon. I have always worked before and studied but these last years everything got on a hold with us moving here and having Dounya. Next month I will go to an open day about a BA (hon) in Humanities to see if that is something for me...yes I like to stay busy LOL!
Everything is going so well with Dounya...she was recently weighed again and is now 13lb75 which is 6120 grams. Clothes were she could swim in before are fitting now and she is full of energy.
I am still waiting for her first cardiac app.and I have everything crossed that her heart looks\great and is working well. It seems to be.. but I want to see it as well!!

Dounya's story is added on this website:
www.congenital-heart-defects.co.uk/dounyaandatrioventricularseptaldefect.aspx

And don't forget CHD awareness week 7-14 February!!

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You passed me in the shopping mall...(You read my faded tee)You tapped me on the shoulder...Then asked...`"What's a CHD?"
I could quote terminology...There's stats that I could give...
But I would rather share with you...A mother's perspective.
What is it like to have a child with a CHD?It's Lasix,aspirin,Captopril....
It's wondering...Lord what's your will?...
It's monitors and oxygen tanks...
It's a constant reminder...to always give thanks...
It's feeding time, calories, needed weight gain...
It's the drama of eating...and yes it's insane!
It's the first time I held her...(I'd waited so long)
It's knowing that I need...to help her grow strong...
It's making a hospital...home for a while...
It's seeing my reward...in every smile.
It's checking her stats...as the monitors are beeping...
It's knowing that there... is just no time for sleeping...
It's caths, x-ays and boo boos to kiss...
It's normalcy...I sometimes miss...
It's asking...do her lips look blue?
It's cringing inside... at what she's been through.
It's dozens of calls to her pediatrician...
(He knows me by name...I'm a mom on a mission).
It's winters homebound...and hand sanitizer...
It's knowing this journey...has made me much wiser.
It's watching her sleeping...her breathing is steady...
It's surgery day...and I'll never be ready.
It's handing her over...( I'm still not prepared...)
It's knowing that her heart... must be repaired...
It's waiting for news...on that long stressful day...
It's ...praying...it's hoping...that she'll be okay.
It's the wonderful friends... with whom I've connected...
It's the bond that we share...it was so unexpected...
It's that long faded scar... down my child's small chest...
It's touching it gently...and knowing we're blessed...
It's watching her chasing...a small butterfly...
It's the moment I realized...I've stopped asking...why?
It's the snowflakes that fall...on a cold winter's day...
They remind me of those...who aren't with us today.
It's a brave little girl...who loved her sweet Pinky...
Or a special heart bear...or her beloved little binky....
It's the need to remember...we're all in this plight....
It's their lives that remind us... we still need to fight!
It's in pushing ahead amidst every sorrow...
It is finding the strength to have hope for tomorrow.